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Even after the disasters in New Orleans and all the missing luggage we finally found tied to some goats in the back of bus and the mysterious disappearing trombone everything was perfectly all-right. By that evening we had found the bags and the band was whole… whole except for the hole in the low brass. It was a mystery for sure, Mom was convinced the trombone was still at the Hillbilly Band Hall in Dayton Ridge, Texas, an opinion that brought a fierce growl from a normally calm trombone player. When the band played the trombone players simply traded horns, grossing out the entire clarinet section. The trombone players simply smiled and said, ‘Hey, it’s just like tradin’ spit back behind the band hall.’ ‘Ewwww…’ the clarinet section moaned. Everyone expected the horn to reappear like the luggage, but as the trip wore on, the trombone remained missing in action. The band actually got to record a soundtrack to some Disney cartoons and then went onto a California Adventure on Sunday.. I will be speaking to you today about the recent outbreak of the HS1F1 Virus, or Homovirus, as the media are referring it to."The young doctor turned the page, looking back up at the expectant reporters."The virus is highly contagious to men, with the number of casualties having reached ten thousand as of last night. There are no confirmed cases of infected women, we believe the virus only affects the Y chromosome. Cases of the virus have been confirmed in Australia, Brazil, China, Iran, Italy, Mexico, Nigeria, the United Kingdom and the United States, though we expect that to increase significantly. There are no confirmed fatalities, as the virus does not attack the immune system."John shifted uncomfortably, adjusting his glasses. He hated this part."Immediate symptoms from infection include sweating and a dry throat. Within 12 hours, skin has become sensitive to touch, especially nipples, penis and prostate, libido has increased significantly and the penis and anus will begin.
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